The End of the Road

It has been an emotional week. Monday morning began with the news of one of my favorite patients being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. When I sent him a text, “Just saw the cancer diagnosis. I am praying for you,” his response moved me to tears. “Thank you. How are you doing? I’m praying for you as well.” He had just received a terrible diagnosis, yet he was concerned about me.

Later that morning, I saw a new patient stricken with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, a brutal condition in which injury to a limb triggers ongoing excruciating pain. When I expressed knowledge of the condition and shared my experience with the new pain medication that blocks the transmission of pain signals from peripheral nerves she told me, “My husband and I prayed at dinner last night that you would be a good doctor. You are the first doctor I have seen that gets it.”

The week also included a lengthy visit with an elderly couple who had recently moved to the area. At the end of our hour together, which included lengthy conversations about their health conditions and wishes for the end of life, the man shook my hand and said, “Of all of the checkups and doctor visits I have had in my life, today was truly remarkable.” His words touched me deeply.

What made these conversations so powerful and heart wrenching was the realization that I will not be able to care for any of these patients much longer. The nerve disease I have been battling for the last decade has gained the upper hand, and I am no longer able to work enough hours to sustain the practice. It is with profound sadness that I announce my retirement from Primary Care effective March 1, 2026. The house that has been our medical home since 2004 is now in escrow, and will close its doors for good on February 27.

I tried to find a doctor to take over for me, but very few new physicians are interested in private practice, particularly as a solo provider. Young doctors prefer places like Kaiser, with salary guarantees, set schedules, and generous retirement plans.

All is not completely lost, for a local medical group has stepped forward to rescue me from feeling I was abandoning my patients. Edinger Medical Group has contracted with me to perform dermatology procedures a few mornings each week, (biopsies and removals of skin cancers, lipomas and skin cysts) and offered Brandie Walton, our PA for the last 20 years, a position in Primary Care. It will be a big change and I will miss caring for my patient’s ongoing needs, but at least I will not have to fade away completely.

The next three months will be rough; I expect a lot of tearful goodbyes. If I don’t get to tell you personally, I want to take this opportunity to say, “Thank you,” to all who have allowed me to be a part of their lives. Being a Family Doctor has been the privilege of a lifetime. It never felt like “work,” and I received far more love and kindness than I gave.

Dr. B

Realizing that patients reading this post may have concerns about their care going forward, I have set up a special email address for them to send their questions at this link.

(I don’t want to type out the full address, as it will lead to spam, but the first half is Dr.BarrettRetirement and the second half is @gmail.com)

Please do not call the office with questions about my retirement, or send messages through the patient portal, as doing so will make it difficult for us to meet the medical needs of our patients.

Hatred Killed Charlie

A three-year-old little girl and her one-year-old brother will grow up without their father. Too young to form lasting memories, everything they know about him will come from the accounts of others. They will be told he loved them and see photographs and videos of him smiling at them in his arms, but they will have no recollection of feeling secure in his embrace, the tenderness of his kiss, or the warmth of his laughter. He is gone forever, taken away by a stranger who did not like his words.

His words. Charlie Kirk was killed because a man he had never met hated things he said. Charlie committed no crime nor covered one up, he did not abuse anyone or cause them to be abused. He merely proclaimed a set of beliefs shared by millions and advocated for governmental policies endorsed by half of the adult population. In a country founded on principles of individual liberty which codified freedom of speech and the right to believe or not believe what one chooses, Charlie Kirk was killed for his words.

How could this happen? We will likely learn more about the killer in the days ahead, but there is much we can say already.

We know that the assassin’s hatred for Charlie was so deep and so intense that it consumed his thoughts for days. This is evident in the steps that preceded the pull of the trigger. The killer familiarized himself with Charlie’s schedule and the layout of the event, selected a weapon, acquired ammunition, practiced marksmanship, engraved messages on the shell casings, drove over two hundred miles to the campus, chose a shooting location and so much more, the sum of which required hours of thought and preparation. This was not a momentary impulsive response to a perceived slight. This was the result of enduring, deep-seated hatred.

The internet is already with speculation as to how and why the young man’s hatred became so intense, fingers are being pointed and blame assigned. Many are angry over the verbal attacks levied on Charlie from the opposite end of the political spectrum, a litany of pejoratives that included him being called fascist, racist, anti-trans, hatemongering, and a bigot.  

While there can be little argument that these negative characterizations could have contributed to the assassin’s hatred, I hold little hope of such attacks becoming less common in the future. Civility has been on the decline in America for decades and not just because of the internet. Social media reflects cultural values as much as it informs them, if not more. I suspect that the rise of hatred was not wrought by Facebook, as much as it was revealed by it.

Hatred of others is a symptom of a deeper disease that has infected the west for decades. We have rejected the idea that human beings were being created in the image of God, and with it the intrinsic value of human life. Image bearers of the divine carry within them the potential for boundless good, the ability to create beautiful music or prose, contribute to the good of society, and give and receive love. Image bearers deserve life. Murder, at its core, rejects the value of life, a process that begins with valuing something more than someone, progresses to denying the value of someone, then reaches its nadir in hate for someone. Must this not be the way of things? Could the assassin have taken that final, evil step if he held on to any thoughts about Charlie’s love for his wife and children, or acts of kindness and generosity he has shown to others?

I have already read reports that the killer had expressed his hatred of Charlie in the days before his crime. I can but wonder if things might have played out differently if others had been brave enough or bold enough to remind him of the good in his intended target. Would his hate have been as strong if he had been shown the photos of Charlie with his kids? Or if he he heard reports of his love for his fellow man?

I cannot know these things, but that does not render me powerless. I do not have to join in hateful discourse. I can choose to focus on the good in others, choose to see them as Children of God, and emphasize their value. I may not be able to change the hate in the world as a whole, but I can diminish the hate in my corner of it.

Bart

On Travis and Taylor

I am not, by any measurement, a Swiftie. I have never been to one of her concerts, never purchased one of her albums, and have not watched a single minute of her Eras Tour concert film. I know only a handful of her songs well enough to sing along, and most of those date back to her first album, which came out in 2006. (Anyone else like “Teardrops on my Guitar?)

And yet, I was absolutely thrilled by the news of her engagement to Travis Kelce. Why?

Because it is a true Love Story.

From his initial failed attempt to give her a friendship bracelet after a concert in Kansas City to the incredibly romantic setting of the proposal itself, they have displayed the type of carefree romanticism that had seemingly disappeared from American life. When my wife played me a snippet of her appearance on the Kelce brothers’ “New Heights” podcast my immediate response was that they sounded like two people who loved each other in a “You’re my bestest friend” kind of way. They make each other smile, make each other laugh, and make each other shake their heads, just like normal people.

For all their millions of dollars and millions of fans and social media followers, Travis and Taylor embody the enduring truth that life is best when you have someone who loves you share it with. That these two people, or any two people, have found that someone, is truly something to celebrate.

Bart

Wronged the Right Way

I’ve never counted, but I am pretty sure I have listened to over two thousand sermons since I began regularly attending church when I was fifteen years old. The preachers ranged from the world renowned to the unprofessional, but with rare exception their sermons all had one thing in common. They were forgotten by me within just a few weeks. Not because they were poorly delivered or boring, but because I am a human being, and human beings tend to forget such things.

We remember things we learned, such as two plus two equals four and George Washington was the first president, even though we have no recollection of when or how we learned them. For Christians the basic doctrines, Jesus as the Son of God born of a virgin, crucified for our sins, and risen from the dead, are common knowledge, even if the Sunday School lessons or sermons that provided the foundations of those beliefs have faded from memory. Most sermons are forgettable, yet every once in a while a pastor will say something so profound that it becomes permanently implanted in my memory.

I do not remember when he said it or which passage he was preaching from, but Charles Swindoll, my former pastor at the First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, said something over thirty years ago that I have never forgotten. In reference to Biblical truth, to the best of my recollection Pastor Chuck said, “I’m all in favor of increasing our knowledge, but most of us could spend the rest of our lives putting into practice the things we already know.”

Chuck’s words came to mind recently when a patient called the office asking for a refill on his medication. I did not need to look at his chart to know that he was overdue for a visit, because I hired him to do construction work on my daughter’s home last year and I had not seen him in the office since. I knew also that he would be hoping to either get the refill without a visit or receive a visit without paying, as he had recently told me that he did not have the money to purchase the supplies he needed to finish the job unless I paid him in advance for the remaining work. To make matters worse, he blamed me for his financial troubles, even though I had given him all but the final 25% due when the work was complete and he could not account for twenty percent of the funds I had paid.

The audacity of the man’s request stunned me. Even though he had breached his contract and caused me financial harm, he expected me to continue giving him free care! My initial response, which I relayed to my office staff, was that it was time for his free ride to come to an end. If he wanted to continue receiving care, I told them, he was going to have to pay for it. My staff accepted my announcement without question, agreeing that my stance was entirely justifiable under the circumstances.

Less than a day passed before a familiar passage of scripture, one I have known by heart for decades, stopped me in my tracks and reminded me of Chuck’s admonition. In the version of the Sermon on the Mount recorded in the gospel of Luke, Jesus told his followers, “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”

Multiple similar passages were soon bouncing around inside my head, including “Repay no one evil for evil” and “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink” from Romans 12, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” from Matthew 5, and “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners (heathen) love those who love them,” from Luke 6. As I reflected on these verses, I realized that my attitude, as justifiable as it initially seemed, was contrary to Jesus’ teaching. As a Christian I am called to love others, even when they have wronged me.

Chastened, the next morning I sent the patient a text telling him that I would treat him the way I treat all established patients who cannot pay their bills. He would be asked to pay only what he could afford.

I wish I could say that my loving response led the patient to have a change of heart regarding the work he had been hired to do, or that my decision to treat him with kindness had brought me joy and happiness, but neither would be true. I’m still angry, and I still feel as if I was cheated, but it’s not necessarily about me. My decision to put my faith into practice sends a message to my staff, this patient, and others that there are still some Christians in this world who do what the Bible says. Even when they don’t feel like it.

Bart

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A Timeless Parable

Depending on how one counts, Jesus told somewhere between thirty and forty parables. These short stories and fables were an incredibly effective way of describing the nature of the Kingdom of God to his audience of fishermen, farmers, two thousand years ago, and continue to be effective today. The most famous of Jesus’ parables, The Good Samaritan, is even well known outside the church. Its story of a Samaritan going out of his way to help a waylaid traveler is the inspiration for “Good Samaritan” laws, laws that protect doctors and others from lawsuits when they help a stranger in need.

Unlike many other parables, Luke’s account in chapter 10 of his gospel goes into considerable detail describing the circumstances under which the parable was told and the person to whom the parable was directed. The man, described as a “lawyer,” (an expert in the Mosaic Law of the Old Testament, not someone who argues a case in court) asks Jesus a theological question- “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus turns the question back on the lawyer, who gives the standard Jewish answer - “You shall the love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”

The answer was the standard, accepted, Jewish response. Loving God with all one’s heart and loving one’s neighbor would, it was believed, lead someone to fulfill all the requirements of the law. But this lawyer was more honest than most of his colleagues. He knew that obeying these two commandments perfectly was not possible, and that the second commandment, loving one’s neighbor was the most challenging of the two. One could fake loving God by following the ceremonial aspects of worship, (going to church, giving ten percent of one’s income, learning the scriptures, etc.) but loving one’s neighbor was different. Loving one’s neighbor required people to do things that disrupted their lives.

Luke alludes to this type of thinking in his brief description of the motivation behind the lawyer’s follow-up question. “Desiring to justify himself.”

The question, which is key to interpreting the parable, accurately describes the motivation for most religious behavior. In religious parlance, “being justified,” means to be found just, or righteous, in the eyes of God. To put it another way, “being justified,” means to be “good enough.” Knowing that no one could truly love his neighbor perfectly, the man wanted to lower the bar to a level he could clear.

Such thinking was wrong two thousand years ago, and it is wrong today. Try as we might, we will never be good enough. No amount of personal sacrifice, selfless giving, or exceptional kindness can get us over the bar. Right standing in the eyes of perfect God requires perfection from us.

But we can’t be perfect! What do we do?

The parable gives us the answer. In the parable Jesus describes religious men who are so concerned with keeping themselves ceremonially clean under the terms of Jewish law (touching a dead body would render them unclean), that they go to great lengths to avoid helping a potentially dying man. In the parable it is a Samaritan (someone considered damned by the Jews) who is free from the pursuit of earned righteousness and thus able to love his neighbor without worrying about becoming unclean.

It is a powerful lesson, and incredibly freeing. I can never be good enough, but that doesn’t matter. Jesus was good enough, and he paid the price for my failings. Because he did, I don’t have to worry about how good I am or how good anyone else is. I don’t have to worry about being judged by others or myself, and I don’t have to waste time judging others. I am free to love and serve others, which is the message of the parable.

-        Bart

It is been a long time since I have blogged with any regularity, but I have been writing. The novel I began working on 5 years ago is finally finished. It was actually so long that I decided to divided into two books, The King’s Hand Book 1: Reunion and The King’s Hand Book 2: Restoration. I am currently in the process of submitting it to agents and publishers. (say a few prayers, because very few books actually get published!)

For those of you are new to the blog, I do not always write about faith. I write on whatever topic comes to mind. My goal is to publish at least once a week.

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• Bart